


i've found the cure for a broken heart

by trebleclifford



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M, started writing this last july also, still not good at this oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-03-09 08:51:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3243641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trebleclifford/pseuds/trebleclifford
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>when your best friend tells you he's in love with you, it's generally understood that you don't slam the door in his face. </p><p>---</p><p>or calum's been in love with michael for like 3 years and decides to tell him via mix tapes</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ok so i started this legit almost exactly a year ago (lol exactly a year in like 5 days)
> 
> and i finished the first half in like january and posted it, but i've since edited some bits of it, changed the title (twice), summary, and finished the second half so there ya go
> 
> title is from 'let's dance to joy division' by the wombats

calum huffed and pushed a hand through his already-disheveled hair, wondering when this got so out of hand. there were stacks and stacks of small cases inside multiple shoe-sized boxes. don't get him wrong, there weren't, like, twenty boxes, only about six, and they weren't new shoe boxes (they were from when he was about 7, when his feet were much smaller). honestly, all the cassettes he had piled in them would only fit into about three of his current-sized-shoe boxes.

 

 ---

 

_he remembers when he and michael had just become friends, and michael had introduced him to good music for the first time. he loved the songs so much he'd gone home and downloaded a whole library full of them and the likes. (he also played them on repeat for about five hours, but no one really needs to know the details.)_

 

 --

 

_he also remembers the time he came out to michael when they were 15. he'd come to terms with his sexuality a bit before they met, but wasn't quite ready to tell michael so soon, for fear of scaring him off. michael had just looked at him and said, "dude, don't be an idiot, i've know for, like, a year and a half." calum opened and closed his mouth a few times, about to finally speak when michael butted in, "you're not a genius with deleting your browser history. i caught a slight glimpse of your internet habits when I had to borrow your computer for that one project and yeah."_

_calum was struck by a sudden feeling of awe. "so, you've known," he paused to wait for a nod from the other boy, "all this time, and you didn't let me know. at all. ever."_

_"yeah. figured you'd wanna tell me yourself," michael replied._

_"so you're not like, mad or grossed out or anything?" calum breathed out._

_"hell no, man. i like dick, why would I be grossed out that you do?" michael had laughed._

_"WHAT THE FUCK MICHAEL? why didn't you tell me you were gay?"_

_michael cringed at the volume of calum's shouting. "i don't know, you just didn't ask, i guess."_

_"you're such an arse, you know that? you're an arse and i hate you." calum couldn't stop the shit eating grin that was beginning to spread onto his face_

_\--_

_a_

_and he remembers the exact moment he decided that he didn't want michael to be his just-friend. it was the night michael’s boyfriend had dumped him, michael had gotten really drunk. like, pissed. calum had never seen him like this, an incoherent, illiterate, sobbing mess. one minute calum was sleeping, next he was rushing down the stairs to end michael's incessant knocking._

_"michael what the hell? it's fucking four in the morning, my parents are asleep," calum whispered as loudly as he could. he brought michael inside to his living room._

_"it's not fair, cal. it's not fucking fair. why do people have to be so cruel? how can you tell someone you love them when you don’t really mean it? how can you let someone fall in love with you if you know you’re not gonna fall in love back? like..." michael paused, and the longer he was quiet, the more his anger dissolved. tears began to roll down his cheeks, though he didn't even bother to wipe them away. he finally spoke, voice low and cracked, "i miss him, cal."_

_calum pulled his best friend in a tight embrace, rocking them back and forth and stroking michael's head._

_"mikey, i know it's hard. believe me, i've been through it before. you just have to remember that we all get our hearts broken. we fall in and out of love constantly, it’s human nature. I know you miss him, but wouldn’t you rather spare yourself the pain than let your heart break a little bit more each and everyday that he wouldn’t love you? you let your heart get shatter once or twice, you fix it up each time and let it get strong enough to love someone who truly loves you back, twice as much,” he squeezed michael one last time. "you good now, buddy?"_

_"yeah, i guess," michael sighed. "calum?"_

_"yeah?"_

_"do you think you could get me a bottle of water and like, an aspirin maybe? my head's starting to hurt."_

_"sure, yeah. i'm assuming you're gonna stay the night?" calum asked._

_"yeah, could i? i don't really think my parents will appreciate me waking up hung over."_

_"yeah, just go up to my room, i'll meet you up there with some pain killers. okay?"_

_"okay," michael said as he began to get off the couch. as he started up the stairs, calum left to the kitchen._

_no sooner than michael had gotten settled into calum's bed did calum himself arrive in the room, hand michael the pills and water and get in right alongside him. michael curled up into calum, now drowsy from the amount of alcohol and medication he'd taken._

_"thanks. for everything, you know? you keep me going. i love you so much, cal," michael slurred._

_calum replied, lulling michael to sleep by running his hand through the blonde boy's hair, "i love you, too, mikey." it was then that calum realized each of them loved each other very differently._

 

 ---

 

sighing, he decided he'd just take them over to mikey's. better to explain it now himself than to let mikey find out on his own later.

 

 ---

 

michael slowly raised himself from his position on the floor of his family's apartment when he heard the visitor's buzzer sound.

 

he opened the door to find a flustered cal, 6 tiny shoeboxes gathered in his arms.

 

"hey cal, what's up? you wanna come in an-" michael was cut off by calum's rushed words.

 

"i made a mixtape with songs that made me think of you when we were 16 and then there were a lot of them and it started to get sorta deep and there were a lot of sappy love songs and i'm kind of in love with you?"

 

michael just stood in his doorway, still as a statue. he needed to process the monologue calum had just forced out. it was obvious from the look on calum's face that he wanted michael to say something, anything. he looked so desperate. but michael, being michael, simply took the boxes and closed the door, without a word said.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i finally finished this even though no one cares bc probably no one's reading this and i'm most likely just talking to myself rn but anYWAY
> 
> pls enjoy this quality piece of shit i call literature

there are a million and on muddled thoughts chasing each other around michael’s brain. he’d never been one for confrontation, usually choosing to either subtly hint at or joke about something or avoid the topic altogether, so it doesn’t come as a complete surprise to him that he'd done what he had.

the first thing he can completely decipher from his mind is that calum is in love with him – or more likely was, considering the fact that michael did slam the door in his face. had he known calum felt that way – michael has quite a talent for discerning calum’s inner thoughts and emotions – he most certainly would have reacted completely differently. in his defense, though, calum’s never displayed any sign of affection towards michael, and all he’s been talking about for the past two months is “how beautiful the barista boy at the coffee shop is” and how “he totally smiled at me.”

but disregarding, it’s not everyday you learn that the best friend you’ve been pining over since you were thirteen is head over heels in love with you. hence, here michael is, a week and a half later, lying face down on his bed, listening to the probably fiftieth of sixty-three small cassette tapes he'd received.

michael's about to slump out of his bed to flip the cassette, as it's been silent for nearly a minute, when another song starts to play. it's not necessarily the song – when, of course, he realizes what it is – that's significant, but the memory that accompanies it. michael can place the song to when he used calum as his plus one to his aunt cindy's wedding. _they were seventeen, and michael hadn't wanted to go alone for fear that he may have had to talk to his second – or was it third? he truly had no idea, still – cousin franklin. of course michael's parents had been going as well, but michael had rather not wished to talk about the economy or politics or whatever the chosen topic of adult conversation happened to be._

_the song came into play when everyone in the reception hall, even cousin franklin, was slow dancing. michael had asked calum to join him, and though he told himself it was simply because he hadn't wanted to be the only one not out on the wooden floor, even today he knows that wasn't true. so together they had waltzed in the small secluded corner they shared, calum's head on michael's shoulder, until the song ended._

_and when michael and his family had visited his grandmother a week later, and she had commented on how cute a couple he and his boyfriend were, he had, regretfully, had to tell her that they weren't together. she had told him it was a shame._

this specific memory connects the, now, only two thoughts in michael's brain: that he loves calum and calum – hopefully still – loves him.

so michael rises from the sanctuary of his bed – two different socks on either foot, probably – and practically marches, shoeless, out his front door and down the sidewalks of the two-block trek to calum’s house.

 

\---

 

a few moments after he practically pounds the door down, he can hear footsteps that he knows must be calum’s, because there’s no car in the driveway and mali’s been in california for the last two months.

out comes calum, wrapped up completely in a blanket, and michael’s about ready to sob because there are tear tracks on his face, even after nearly two weeks, and he knows it’s all his fault. and calum’s about to shut the door as soon as he sees who’s outside, so michael shouts, “wait, calum.”

“what do you want michael?”

“listen, i know i was a huge dick last week, bu—“

“huh, you think?” calum huffs.

“BUT,” michael stresses, “i came to apologize, profusely, and explain my reasoning. please, _please_ just give me four minutes. it’s all i need.”

what feels like three hours to michael – though in reality it was only about thirty seconds – later, calum agrees with a sigh, “fine.”

“okay, firstly, i’m so so sososo EXTREMELY sorry for what i did, i know i shouldn’t have, it was totally uncalled for, but i was in shock, and i’ll explain why. you didn’t really give me any warning, you know, but that’s beside the point. anyway, secondly; so i’ve always told you that i knew i was gay since i was, like, ten –“

and yet again, michael’s interrupted by calum. “is this story at all relevant to your excuse for slamming your door in my face and neglecting to even text me for almost two weeks?”

michael’s heart breaks just a little bit at the tone of calum’s voice and the caliber of his words, but he continues nonetheless. “of course it does. now shut up, i’m only at two and a half minutes. well, i, uh, i technically lied to you. i mean, i was kinda questioning the way i felt, but i didn’t actually _know_. not, like, completely. not until, um, not until i met you.” michael, now looking down, fails to see how the look in calum’s eyes changes when he hears this. “well i guess i kind of knew, or at least i just wasn’t positive about it, because i’d kissed boys when i was eleven, but i was still sort of questioning my sexuality then. and then i met you, and i knew. we were thirteen and i knew for sure i liked strictly boys, i knew i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, i knew i was in love with you. but like, you were always dating someone, or talking about someone else when you weren’t, so i didn’t think i’d ever have a chance really. and i really wasn’t expecting you to show up at my doorstep and confess your love for me, so i’m really sorry, again, for slamming the door in your face, i really didn’t mean it.”

for a while, calum says nothing. all that’s audible is the sound of their breathing and birds and distant thunder. michael doesn’t speak either, until he gets so nervous that he believes calum still hates him and will for the rest of their lives, and he starts babbling, “cal can you say something? like maybe tell me you don’t totally hate me, or maybe forgive me, or for christ’s sake at least make some kind of noise, i don’t wanna fucking lose you over this. i mean, i know it was a really shitty thing to do, but i can’t stand the thought of not ever being able to talk to you or see you again, i would probably die.”

calum’s not listening anymore. he doesn’t know what to say, so he still says nothing, but he knows he has to do _something_. and michael’s still dropping run-ons from his mouth like he can’t get them out fast enough, and the only thing calum can think of to do is kiss michael, and he does.

it surely isn’t michael’s first kiss, but it might as well be because he’s never felt such a feeling: someone he loves truly loving him back, twice as much.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow props to u if u finished this, i hope it was as bad as u expected bc i'm literally so shit at writing BUT
> 
> thanks to anyone who read this, feel free to tell me what you think or leave kudos or just don't insult it at least pls i'm very self-conscious thank u have a nice evening
> 
> also i really hope there's no grammar or spelling errors bc i'm too lazy to read thru this rn its like 3am
> 
> aLSO follow me on tumblr if u want(pls im thirsty) @ goodn00dle thANKS


End file.
